Body at Night

‘Actually, insomnia is like a dream, but without the dream. In insomnia, anxieties that were cornered during the day appear; still immature projects that need calculations, forecasts, adjustments; faults newly installed in consciousness.’ Mario Benedetti, Insomnios y Duermevelas. (My translation)

Despite its bad reputation, insomnia pays off sometimes. 

Benedetti’s quote is only partly true. There are sleepless nights in which the mind meanders without apprehension. A too heavy dinner, too much time with blue light, a session at the gym that finished too late…

In those nights I can tune to an awareness otherwise neglected day to day.

Which one of my legs is heavier? What’s the pace of my partner’s breath? What did he eat tonight for that soft snore? What’s the temperature of my body? And his? Why are his hands cold and his forehead hot? Does my belly hang if I lay on my side? If so, by how much?