Love Island

Seven life lessons I’ve learnt from spending my day on the sofa with the flu: 

 

1.       It’s humanly possible to watch eight episodes of Love Island in a row. 

2.      In fact, in certain circumstances it’s comforting (and almost necessary) to watch eight episodes of Love Island in a row. 

3.      The final twist of episode one season seven (bringing two identical barbie-twins to the villa) is a stroke of genius that should be studied in creative writing courses. 

4.      If there was any justice in life, non-British nationals able to understand the participants without subtitles would immediately obtain the permanent right to remain in the UK. 

5.      The English language is flexible enough to include ‘mate’ three times in a sentence. 

6.      Homo sapiens have developed the most extraordinary inventions since arriving in Eurasia between about 100,000 and 30,000 years ago, but still rely on beauty and fighting and social status to find the right partner. 

7.      As a species, we’re anatomically developed enough to open champagne bottles with two-inch porcelain nails.